My wife, Christian recording artist Miranda Landers, and I recently celebrated our fourth wedding anniversary. Years after we both went through very painful and public divorces, I’m so thankful for the churches that’ve had Miranda and me out to sing, speak, or both at marriage events like banquets, conferences, retreats, etc. As a divorced-and-remarried couple, we can’t help but notice how rare this is.

For the most part, only married-never-divorced people are invited to sing- much less speak – at these events. Divorce – if mentioned at all – is presented as something to be ashamed of. Remarriage, blended families, etc., are rarely addressed. Also missing is any kind of serious discussion about abuse and neglect in their many forms and how they affect us all. I wonder sometimes if the leaders planning these events have given much thought to the number of divorced-and-remarried couples who attend.

If I…